Sunday 4 October 2015

Help, Prime Minister, My Head Girl is a Terrorist!

(Short post this week. Very busy)

The head girl at my secondary school is obviously a terrorist. I have never once heard her condemn the actions of ISIS. She tries to cover up her secrets by organising Halloween discos and getting the prefects to do their duty properly, but I know she's trying to lead us all into the Jihad.

It's a real shame. I've known her since I was four. She's always been chatty, lively, highly intelligent, and with the will to get things done. I never would have suspected her of such a thing if you hadn't so insightfully pointed out that her silence on the subject is what I should have been looking for.

You made me think, sir, that she couldn't be the only one. I thought about another Muslim girl I know. She disappeared mysteriously last year. She claims it's anorexia but you've shown me the truth.

There was a boy from Libya in my Primary Seven class. He returned to his home nation, apparently. I bet his family have been training him as a child soldier to fight for ISIS. It's obvious now.

In fact, I've left out the names of all these Jihadis, so I must be one as well. But then again, I'm white.


Disclaimer: I actually wrote this two months after leaving school but the point stands.

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